It's Nerf or Nothing

My roommate and I waited in silence as our other roommate pulled into the driveway. We exchanged confused looks as he sat in his car for a seemingly excessive amount of time. Finally, we gave up our venture and went back to what we had been doing...I went into my room to read a book and he sat down in the living room to watch TV. All of a sudden I heard a yell, followed by footsteps running. I walked out the door to my room and something flew past my ear. "What the F__K was that?" I yelled. And then I saw it...my roommate hadn't been waiting in his car for no reason. He had been loading his new NERF gun. I ran into my room and slammed the door as he began to pelt me with more darts, and anxiously tried to load my own firearm.

It all started seemingly innocently, when one of our friends decided to give away his collection of these guns, and we were the only takers. Three guns for three roommates. Perfect karma.

I took the replica sniper rifle, and the 6-shooter and other rifle were dispersed among the other two. The madness really began Tuesday night. At about 11:00 that night, I had the bright idea to get one roommate to join me in storming the other roommate's room after he had gone to bed for the night. I stood in front of the door while Ryan stood to the side and pushed the door open. We then began pelting Drew with darts while he screamed profanities at us. We walked back upstairs feeling kind of bad because we had disturbed his privacy and possibly his sleep. However, I realized 10 minutes later that he wasn't put off in the least. That's because he came upstairs and began shooting madly at the two of us in retaliation. As we ran fought back and forth for about 10 minutes, the two dogs ran around barking at the madness going on around them. I made sure that when I went to bed that night, I locked my door.

It all came to a head last night with the incident of Ryan coming into the house and shooting us with the NEW gun he had just bought. This thing actually hurts if it hits you, and is pretty deadly accurate. I'm still shocked that he spent about $30 on a new NERF gun just to protect himself. Well, after this happened we proceeded to spend roughly 90 minutes late last night running around the house shooting at each other. The dogs were outside, probably wondering the same thing you are: What are three guys in their mid-20's doing playing with NERF guns.

The answer is simple. Guys don't like the idea of growing up. Think about it: we play video games, watch the sports we played as kids, watch our favorite movies from our childhood, and listen to the same music. This doesn't apply to everyone but it does to a lot of my friends. I spend my evenings playing with NERF guns, playing original Nintendo, and watching early seasons of the Simpsons and Darkwing Duck, among other things. My favorite movie is Back to the Future. Ever since Death Magnetic came out, all I've listened to is Metallica. What I'm trying to say is that I was so influenced by our culture when I was growing up that I have held onto my interests from that time and am still passionate about them. Maybe I'm going through a quarter-life crisis, especially with my obsession with cartoons lately. But I think that I just am not ready to leave my childhood behind, especially now that I'm in a better financial position to enjoy what I want. I can now afford to buy these NERF guns I never had as a kid, and rent or but all those movies I loved watching. I have more access to the music of the time. So I think I'm making up now for everything I didn't get enough of as a kid. And I believe most guys go through this at some point in their 20's once they've been independent for awhile.

I never thought I would be playing with NERF guns when I was 27, but all I have to say to that is: "Why wouldn't I be?"

Low Budget Mania

I know I've already blogged about commercials but I only covered commercials for kids in that post. Yesterday, an email from my cousin reminded me of one of the VERY few advantages to watching daytime television: the cheesy local commercial.

My greatest memories of low budget commercials come from my childhood in St. Louis. During the summer, I would get up at a reasonable hour and spend my mornings in front of the television most of the time, before going out and playing with my friends in the late morning or early afternoon hours. This would normally occur after watching The Price Is Right. These few hours of watching morning television introduced me to some local businesses I never would have known about otherwise.

The first one, that was the inspiration for this post, is Schweig Engel, which I believe is a furniture and appliance company, but I'm not sure if the commercials ever made it clear. These commercials were made up of three guys essentially yelling to you about their financing and credit options at the store. I don't recall them ever actually mentioning what they sell, leading me, as a child, to believe they were just a credit or accounting firm. After doing some research into it, I figured out what they actually sell. However, I tried to find information about the actual actors and was only able to come up with this video interview with Mike Stein. The cheesy special effects, sometimes violent overtones, and the voice levels of the actors made these commercials a favorite among native St. Louisans.

Next up is Becky's Carpet and Tile Superstore. I always found these commercials disturbing. Back in the day, they consisted of Becky, Queen of Carpet, and Wanda, Princess of Tile. They rode a flying carpet all over St. Louis, not always staying on it but generally ending the commercial there. However, after several years, Wanda suddenly disappeared from the ads, leaving Becky flying (literally) solo. Perhaps the combined weight of the two hurt the flying carpet, or perhaps Wanda actually did fall off the carpet and died...but that remains one of the great mysteries in St. Louis lore...What happened to Wanda? My opinion is there was a dispute between the Queen and Princess, and Becky ended up on the winning side. She admitted to being a recognizable figure outside of St. Louis in an interview done recently...and I bet that if Wanda were still around, it would take some of the spotlight off Becky. And who wants that?

There are several others I would like to cover, but in order to save space, I'll mention: Dirt Cheap and the Dirt Cheap bird, Buckley the talking dog...I can't even remember the name of the company, but if you mention Buckley you get $500 off the price of your car. The questions there is how do you go about mentioning Buckley when you're buying a car? That's always plagued me, and I wonder how many people have actually gotten that $500 off the price of the car. I also wonder how many Buckleys there have been.

Louisville doesn't have the same number of cheesy local commercials. But there are a few. The one I'm going to highlight isn't nearly as good as Schweig Engel, but it's still good. Darryl Isaacs, Attorney at Law, AKA "The Heavy Hitter." This is just a big oaf of a lawyer, who supposedly finished in the bottom third of his law school class, but is now probably the most recognized lawyer in Louisville. He's been seen in his commercials playing basketball and punching people and cars out of the screen, among other things. Most catchy, however is his jingle: "The heavy hitter is the way to go. Call 458-1000." Classic.

I wish I could write about more than this but I don't watch enough daytime and late night television anymore to really be able to do that. I hope the cheesy local commercial is not a dying breed. But if it is, then I thank all the local companies for filling my childhood (and adult life) with memories of dinosaurs eating people, headless salesmen, and b-balling lawyers.

Ike

I feel like the entire country experienced the fallout from Hurricane Ike. I know for a fact that both Louisville and St. Louis were ravaged, but in entirely different fashions. On Sunday, as the hurricane made its way north, it hit St. Louis with fairly high winds and more rain than the city has seen in quite some time. I believe I heard 4 inches fell in the span of a few hours. This caused flooding all over the city, including in places I've never heard of having this problem before. For example, I was told the corner of Manchester and Hanley was underwater. What!?!?! That's what I said. I didn't even know there was water anywhere nearby, but somehow this area flooded.

Meanwhile, in Louisville, we got the high winds but no rain. However, we got gusts of up to 75 mph, with average winds in the 50 mph range for a few hours straight. Now I've never considered myself much of a risk-taker but I made one of the dumber decisions of my life on Sunday afternoon. I chose to go running at the height of these massive winds, with trees all around me. So I made my way to a park and ran 7 miles, all the while being covered in blowing dust and debris, and waiting for a tree limb or street sign to crack me in the side of the head.

The aftermath of these high winds left roughly 300,000 households and businesses in the area without power...myself and my work included. As I write this it is Wednesday morning, and my house is still without power, and my work unfortunately got power at about 6:30 this morning. I think there are still about 150,000 places without power right now, and they are guessing it could be up to 2 weeks (from Sunday) by the time everything is restored.

So while I sit at night in my dark house and read with a flashlight, while watching movies on my laptop until the battery dies, one very disturbing thought crosses my mind on a regular basis: if we are this reliant on electricity and cannot use anything that needs it, what would happen if toilets were powered by electricity?

I know that I had to piss in the dark on the very first day we lost power but was able to flush. But people are freaking out so badly right now it is insane. You can't buy batteries, flashlights, or candles to light your house. Stores are also sold out of ice so you can't cool your food. Even gas stations are shutting down: some because they don't have power and others because they are out of gas. People are lined up in stores and gas stations all over the city trying to find a way to live their lives. What if they couldn't use their toilets either? Would the lines at restaurants, stores, libraries, and even churches be out the door because there are thousands of people around the city who can't take a shit? Would the city line up portolets in parks for everyone to use? Would people just begin to go in their neighbors' yards? Think of how many times you walk into a room when your power is out and flip a light switch without thinking...just out of habit. How many people would automatically go use their toilet, only to realize, too late, that they can't flush it? Then they would have to deal with a rotting turd cooking up in their bowl for several days. The smell would be just awful. So all of you scientists out there, or amateur inventors, if you see blueprints come across your desk for an electric toilet, I have just three words for you: JUST SAY NO!!

Fatigue and Pop Tarts

As I write this, at roughly 11:00 AM while sitting in my desk at work, I am currently very tired and uncomfortable. Whoever said that running and hard exercise make you feel better was way off. I guess that may be a bit of an exaggeration, because I really enjoy endurance sports and being in great shape, but running in the morning does two things to me that are polar opposites: give me a great outlook on the day (because my run is done), and makes trying to sit still incredibly uncomfortable and stiff. I remember days when I was in college, running 15 miles before night class and trying to sit through a 3 hour class. All I did was squirm, try to stretch, and think about food and sleep...it didn't help that I hated night classes at the time.

The food situation here is better than it was during my night class days....Pop Tarts and chocolate milk (which has electrolytes and aids in runners' recovery, believe it or not). I've recently discovered a new kind of Pop Tart that I think is now on closeout. They are blue raspberry flavored and for all you American Idol fans, they feature trivia. The flavor isn't too bad, especially if you like blue raspberry, and it makes looking past the annoying design much easier. It cost me $2.00 for a box of 12...how can you beat that. I also picked up a $2.00 box of Barbie Island Berry flavored Tarts this morning, which is what is going to sustain me until lunch time.

"Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?..............That's the joke." McBain said those immortal words in his classic flick McBain: Let's Get Silly. This is one of my favorite McBain scenes ever, and in thinking about it, I did a web search and came up with this gem of a website. Why would anyone waste their time on such a simple, useless, and nonsensical site? Because they can. I applaud this person and their vision of a website to replay, over and over, this classic scene from Simpsons lore, most likely for his or her own entertainment, and maybe that of a few close friends.

You're Listening To The Radio

I've come to the conclusion that radio can both heighten and destroy my love of music. A big reason for this is the choice of radio stations here in Louisville, but I'll get into that later. The inspiration for this post actually came on a positive note this morning in my car, when I heard "Civil War" by Guns N' Roses.

Most bands that you hear have several songs that I call "radio songs." These are the 3-4 songs from any given popular band that are played on classic rock stations nationwide, and they rarely vary from one station to the other. The problem I have is that certain stations seem to have a jones for certain bands. While I can no longer intelligently speak about radio stations in St. Louis, I know that back at the turn of the millennium KSHE 95 played roughly 2 Led Zeppelin songs per hour. Here in Louisville, the worst culprit is 95.7 QMF, playing AC/DC at a rate that would probably make the band tire of hearing their own music. To their credit, however, I will admit that QMF has a vast collection of AC/DC on in their library. However, I can also attest to the fact that this phenomena of AC/DC overkill has actually caused me to change the station any time I hear them played. It's not that I dislike the band, it's just that I'm tired of having them thrown in my face on the radio.

Another group this has happened with is Guns N' Roses. This is very disturbing to me because, even though I'm not a fan of all their music, I do enjoy most of it. The problem is, the only 3 GN'R songs I've heard on the radio with any regularity are: "Welcome to the Jungle", "Paradise City", and (far too often) "Sweet Child of Mine." I used to be a huge fan of all these songs, but I cannot stand to hear any one of them on the radio. "Sweet Child of Mine" is especially bad because it is the most prevalent of the three. What makes it even worse is that they often even edit the song to take out most of the guitar solo, which is a high point of the song. So I can't tell you my relief when I heard "Civil War" this morning...of course it was on the station I consider to be the best in the city.

That station is 93.1 The Fox. Not only does it play a solid mix of classic and new rock, but it has a pretty vast playlist. I have to admit that I favor this station because every day at 6:00 is Mandatory Metallica, which is my favorite 25 minutes of the rush hour. What's impressive about Mandatory Metallica is how deep the go into the band's library. How often are you going to hear Battery, Creeping Death, or Hit the Lights on the radio? The answer is never. I mean, even as I write, Metallica is on the station's website's homepage...which is advertised on the radio as "The perfect break from your favorite porn sites." I could go on and on about this radio station, but I think anyone just needs to go to the website and check out "Thong of the Day", "Who Would You Do", and listen to the station live online. You will not be disappointed.

The other alternatives in Louisville are the aforementioned 95.7 QMF, 107.7 SFR...both of these are very similar stations that specialize in classic rock, but their choice of music is questionable at best. Of course, I'm also not a fan of Lynrd Skynrd and Cher. But if you like stuff like that, then enjoy. You can also listen to 105.1 WLRS, which is the #2 station in my mind, because it is a solid mix of 93.1 and the last two stations. However, it focuses much more on new rock and a lot of the stuff you would hear on The Fox, so it is my easy second choice. The final option is a little known station: 88.1, WNAS New Albany...the station of New Albany High School. I believe this station is run by high school students, and thus the music selection comes from their cd's and Itunes. This station is completely hit or miss, but if you hit then you hit big. They play some completely random music, and if you get a DJ on there who likes metal you'll hear something you won't hear on any other station. I remember hearing Winger, Queensryche, and Iron Maiden on this station.

I'll finish this post with a shout out to my favorite station of all time...the short-lived 97.1 The Rock, a station that was big in St. Louis in the late 90's. This station played nothing but hard classic rock and had a huge playlist. It did four 20-song music marathons per day, meaning no commercials for over an hour. Eventually, it got bought out by KSHE, which went on to proclaim itself "The Rock of St. Louis." But I will forever remember that station as the best mix of music I can ever remember.

My Thoughts For The Day

Just a day after reporting about the weather being so great here, I have been given reports of the weather in St. Louis. As of this writing, it is rainy and 68 in St. Louis, thanks to Hurricane Gustav. Of course, I'm still living it up here in Louisville in the 85 degree weather...heat index over 90. The day it dips below 65 degrees for the high temperature, I believe I may cry...or maybe I'll still jump in my pool, which will be going strong until Thanksgiving.

My roommate brought up a great idea for a winter use for the pool. He suggested we buy some catfish, put the pool out in our front yard, and go fishing from the front porch, while drinking beers and grilling out. This can be done in any weather. It would just be ice fishing during the winter. That got me thinking: how much would it cost to buy 10 live catfish?? Well, upon doing a little bit of research, I couldn't find a good price, but I did find some fish brokers who specialize in the sale of live fish, both for cooking and for stocking lakes. So I didn't get a quote, but I found what I thought was a great site: Imperial Catfish. The logo is what did it for me.

On a separate note, I have found a destination for a pilgrimage in the future. I don't know how I didn't discover it before this, but my blog has a namesake and a sister city. It is, of course, St. Louisville, OH. It is a mere 250 miles from Louisville, but a whopping 477 miles from St. Louis. However, this is a definite option because I intend to make a trip for another eating challenge in the future to central Ohio, and this place will not be too far out of the way. While this trip is probably a long way in the future, I fully intend to blog about the history of the city as well as my experience visiting the town that was named after my blog.

On a final note, in response to my cartoon post I have decided to get some of my old favorites in the mail via Netflix. The first disc of Darkwing Duck should arrive in the mail today. I will report on how well the show holds up, but I am on the edge of my seat in anticipation of viewing this childhood classic.

The End of the Summer

Sweet irony has struck again. How many times have you heard of Labor Day referred to as the "unofficial" end to summer? I know I'm sick of hearing it, because it means that my favorite part of the year is over.

Labor Day, while nice in the fact that it is part of a long weekend (4 days, in my case this year), but it also means several issues arise that I don't like: school is back in, people and businesses close their pools, winter clothing goes on sale, and you see the first Christmas items also go on sale.

So you have no idea how happy it made me when Labor Day, the day after, and today have all topped out over 90 degrees here in Louisville...among the 3 hottest days of the year, after summer had unofficially ended. I love the heat, and laugh at those idiots who closed their pools on Monday. All the while, I had my pool open and ready to use in the backyard. It doesn't matter that my pool is made of plastic and rubber, is only 3 feet deep and has a diameter of 10 feet. It also doesn't matter that it is currently filled with leaves because the portable filter it came with sucks. And it doesn't matter that it needs new water. What matters is the fact that, if I choose, I have the option to jump in my pool at any time...and it's AFTER Labor Day. I intend to keep this pool set up as long as the temperatures are regularly in the 70's, which could mean November in this part of the country. I will swim at the latest possible date...and laugh at all those people who closed their pools up just because the "Unofficial" end to summer came a bit too early.

On another note, I hate that Christmas supplies are already on sale. There's nothing more annoying than going to a store and seeing reindeers and Santa Clause set up next to skeletons and pumpkins. Can we at least get past the first week of the NFL before we start thinking about our Holiday shopping?

The only good thing to come out of the end of summer is the start of pumpkin season. I personally can eat anything pumpkin: pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin ice cream (Starlight Frozen Custard in Louisville has a killer pumpkin concrete), pumpkin beer...basically anything in that flavor and I'm all over it. This pumpkin obsession rose to new highs last year, as I ingested at least one pumpkin flavored item on a nearly daily basis...and consumed roughly 8 pumpkin pies through the entire holiday season. This year stands to top that bit of craziness...mainly because I am now running quite a bit more and I have a much larger appetite than I had at this time last year.