Why So Disturbing?

Has anyone seen the new White Castle commercials about the pulled pork sandwich? If not, let me describe it for you. It basically takes place in a gentleman's club, or strip joint to put in layman's terms. It focuses on two guys, one of whom is feeling "The Crave", watching the main stage where an exotic dancer is doing her best "Flashdance" impression. The catch? The exotic dancer is a FUCKING PIG!!! Literally it's a woman (hopefully) dressed up in a giant pink pig costume. Her performance ends with the infamous image of her sitting in a chair, back arched, chest upward, and dumping a bucket of water on her prone body. Only instead of a bucket of water, it's BBQ sauce.

So my description basically makes it sound like a somewhat humorous take on what some call a classic 80's movie. Why does this disturb me, you ask? Well, why the hell doesn't it disturb you?!?!?!?!

That damn pig is the type of costumed monstrosity that can give kids nightmares. The entire commercial is filmed in a very dark backdrop, and there's virtually no speech, just the creepy white castle "Crave" music playing over and over while the damn pig is dancing to it. It's just plain frightening, seriously. Not to mention that there is a strong possibility that the person under that pig mask is, in fact, a dude. I'm not certain of that, but I can't imagine White Castle was able to convince an actual stripper to dress up in a pink pig costume and dance around before dumping a bucket of BBQ sauce on herself. But then again, maybe they did. I truly hope there is a woman under that pig costume, because I would not be surprised in the least if there is some guy out there who has watched this video over and over again, and gotten off on it.

The worst part of the whole deal for me is the fact that whenever I go to watch the Angry Video Game Nerd on Cinemassacre.com, I am forced to watch a 15 second clip of this commercial before every video. And since I've been on a huge AVGN kick lately, I have had to watch the commercial far too many times. I am sure that one night that fucking pig will sneak into my dreams, causing me to wake up in a cold sweat, possibly smelling BBQ sauce. I enjoy White Castle in moderation, but this commercial made me wary of them.

Has anyone tried the pulled pork yet? Despite my misgivings about their advertising, I'm still interested to taste it.

Who is the Bigger A$$....?

Over the weekend I was driving down Bardstown Road here in Louisville, and I witnessed an act of ignorance so inspiring that I had to acknowledge it in some way.

As a bit of background, I'll try to describe Bardstown Road. Some people who know St. Louis and a little bit about Louisville compare Bardstown to the U-City Loop. While I can definitely see the comparisons, think it has a little different feel. You would have to have experienced both many times over to understand what I'm talking about. But basically it's a 4-lane road with bars, music shops, and locally owned businesses lining either side of the road. It's a place where people drive, park their cars, and walk up and down the area on nice days, and most weekends you will see hundreds of walkers frequenting the restaurants, bars and shops.

So there's your history, now for a little bit of daily inspiration. I was driving down Bardstown (actually I was the passenger) on Saturday and was stuck in Bardstown Road traffic (bumper to bumper, but generally moving). On the weekends, the right lanes are supposed to be essentially off limits for drivers because they are made into parking lanes. However, if you are lucky you may get a long stretch where there are no cars parked and can jump into the right lane for a bit.

After several minutes of this traffic, I noticed a gap on the right side of about a quarter mile with no cars parked. Generally if this happens, the only people who get over into the lane are those who have to make a right turn during that stretch, or those who are going to park along the open space. On this occasion, a driver about 3 cars behind us decided that this would be a good opportunity to jump over, pass up about 8-9 cars, and then jump back into the driving lane, most likely cutting a few people off in the process.

The car got over and started moving. Right after it had passed my car, however, it noticed an obstruction in the road. A biker (bicycle, not motorcycle) and his friend were sitting in the lane, completely blocking it. The car sped up toward the biker, expecting him and his friend to move. Instead, they stood their ground, knowing the car shouldn't be in that lane to begin with. The car continued to inch further forward, obviously threatening them in an attempt to intimidate them into moving. Still, they stood their ground, staring straight into the face of the driver. While I couldn't see the driver, I know the bikers did nothing but stand their ground. The did not make rude facial expressions, they didn't curse, and they didn't make any hand gestures. The car, obviously fed up at this point, tried to get back into the left lane, but every one of the cars the driver had passed refused to let him in. As I passed the biker and his friend, now roughly 6 inches from the front bumper of the car, I couldn't hide the broad grin on my face. Actually, I was laughing so hard tears were nearly rolling down my face. The biker's friend looked into my car and saw me laughing so hard, smiled back, and just kind of shrugged at me like, "I don't know what the hell this guy's problem is." And while I just kept laughing, I think if I could go back to that moment I would probably applaud these two mens' actions.

Now this story begs just one question: Who was the bigger asshole in this situation?