The Urban Bourbon Trail

Today's blog may be short, but it will cover one of the wonders I just discovered about living in Kentucky. Now, if anyone knows anything about Kentucky, they will know it for horse racing and not much else. But one of the things that makes Kentucky famous is that it is the home of Bourbon Country. Basically, 98% or more of all bourbon made in the world comes from Kentucky. I have a coworker who is a Bourbon historian and enthusiast, who will tell you, quite literally, anything you want to know about bourbon. So it was no surprise today when he came down to the lunch room to with his hands full of bourbon brochures.

The idea within these brochures is nothing new, but it still seems unique in it's Kentucky flavor. It is the idea of the "Urban Bourbon Trail." In place already in Kentucky is the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, which is a tour of a series of distilleries throughout the state. One who follows this would likely have to set aside an entire weekend to accomplish the entire thing. However, the Urban Bourbon Trail has been set up within Louisville at a series of restaurants and bars. The point is to show up at one restaurant and ask for a Bourbon Trail Passport, which is actually a small booklet similar to an actual passport. The passport is free, and each page contains a brief bio of a separate restaurant on the trail. You then go to each restaurant and order some bourbon (though it may be just you order anything, I'm not sure) and you get your passport stamped. Once you get all 8 stamps, you win. I believe you earn a t-shirt and another small prize, along with the pride of knowing you just blew $40 and a bunch of gas just to drink bourbon. But that's not the point. If it was, I would never have gone on the Pennsylvania burger trip.

The guy who showed this to us at work is, as I said, a bourbon enthusiast and is a member of the Kentucky Bourbon Society. I was personally invited by him to join the Bourbon Society as they ride the Urban Bourbon Trail in July, in one day. I had to regretfully turn down this offer, mainly because I don't consider myself a bourbon drinker and would not want to look weak as a beer drinker among bourbon enthusiasts. However that does not mean I will not attempt this. Plans are already in the works to leave work early one Friday and take our own journey down the Urban Bourbon trail. The question then becomes: will we finish or will we pass out trying?

I Can't Drive 55

Everyone knows the feeling you get when you look in your rearview mirror and see flashing lights. It means that you screwed up and are going to have to pay upwards of $200 to let the law know you're sorry. But this morning I noticed something (not for the first time) that got me thinking, and it made me angry.

I saw a police officer pulling someone over on the highway, during rush hour...but the officer was in a mini-van. Now I'm sure several people have seen this before...I know I've seen it once or twice. I've also seen officers in all different types of cars, from Camaros to F-150's. Yes, I've seen a cop in a truck pulling someone over. So this raises the question: are the police doing what they can to look out for the safety of everyone, or are they just looking for a more effective way of writing tickets?

Before I go any further, I want to make my opinion clear on this. I don't believe most police officers enjoy writing tickets. From what I know, it involves extra paperwork and effort that can be unnecessary and boring. So I don't think that most individual officers are "out to get" anyone. Now there are those select officers who probably get a kick out of handing out a $200 charge in the form of a small sheet of paper, but those guys are assholes whom I don't want to talk about. All in all, I think most officers are encouraged to pull over people only when they find it absolutely necessary...or if they are told to set up a speed trap. But again, I doubt an officer sets up a speed trap of his/her own choice, but instead is told to do that by the higher-ups in law enforcement.

But pulling people over in undercover cars seems to defeat the purpose. I personally think the idea of a speeding ticket is to make sure drivers are obeying the law and driving carefully. Peope who have no concern for the speed limit are not going to slow down just because that car next to them might be a cop. But if there's a patrol car driving by, the entire road comes to a near-stop. If the speed limit is 55, then traffic is driving 48 mph. The presence of a patrol car is much more effective for getting a large group of people to obey the speed limit. The presence of a Patrol Windstar or F-150 does nothing but slow down the one person unlucky enough to get pulled over. I know this morning I drove 70 mph right past that van, and chuckled and waved as I passed it...all the while getting passed on my left by two cars going well over 80.

So the only places these undercover cars are going to be effective are in areas that are known "speed zones." The two examples I can think of are St. George in St. Louis, and the loop around Seneca Park here in Louisville. The St. George stretch is well known to any South County resident as a place where you don't drive 36 or 37 mph...you drive 33 just to be safe. I remember as a teenager seeing an officer sitting on that stretch of road probably 50% of the time I drove it.

The Seneca Park loop is an entirely different situation, in my opinion. Police patrol this area regularly, both to ensure safety at night and to ensure people drive the speed limit, as there are hundreds of runners and bikers that go through this area on a daily basis. The problem is, this is only about a 1.5 mile loop in a park system that spans probably 20 miles of roads. And people in Louisville only look out for their own asses. They won't slow down to pass a runner or biker in the rest of the park. They'll drive 50 past a runner, while veering into the oncoming traffic lane as they pass, hoping to be able to get back over before the oncoming car hits them. But as soon as they get to this more heavily-trafficed loop, they all slow down. Why? Not to be sure they don't hit a runner. No, they slow down so their ignorant speeding ass doesn't get a ticket by the cop in the undercover VW Beetle.

So all in all I don't really know what the point of this rant was, except I think cops should stick to Police cars when driving around, because everyone is much more cautious when an officer is around. Instead, the next ticket you may get could come from a cop wearing a Hawaiian shirt and driving a 1975 Gremlin. He's out there, you just wait and see.

Drinking Beers, Beers, Beers

Today's post is dedicated to beer: "The cause of, and solution to all of life's problems." (Homer Simpson).

But I'm not going to write just about beer, but instead about a unique way to drink beer. Now I personally am a fan of small pubs and hold-in-the-wall bars where one can go, throw back a few and enjoy random and memorable conversation. But one can also find dozens and dozens of activities that are good for beer drinking. And if you are creative, you can make a game out of any of these activities. I mean, summer softball would not be what it is without beers. Sitting in your backyard playing Cornhole or Washers isn't the same without a beer in your left hand. And where is the fun in going to a baseball game without a 36 oz. beer keeping you company.

Now, these things are all things in my life I enjoy, but I had never before known of a good way to mix my greatest passion in life, running, with drinking beer in a way that would be good for anyone. That was, or course, until I discovered the Beer Mile.

You can look on the website for an EXTENSIVE list of rules, details, and comprehensive records. But I'll give the basic overview of this event. You begin at any track or course with measured quarter mile (400 meter) intervals. On a track, there is a 10-meter exchange zone already marked, but if you are doing this elsewhere you need to mark off these 10 meters somehow. Everyone begins at the starting line and at the gun, everyone pops open a brew. You cannot begin running until the beer is gone. Once you've chugged your beer, you begin your first lap. At the end of the lap, when you reach the 10-meter exchange zone, you pop open another beer, and you can only move withing the exchange zone until your beer is gone. Once the beer is gone, you begin lap 2. Same thing at the end of laps 2 and 3. All in all you consume 4 beers and run 4 laps on the track. If you vomit at any point in the run, you run a penalty lap at the end...but still only consume the 4 beers.

The rules state you must use at least 5% alcohol content beer, so no cheap light beers. Now, according to beermile.com there have been hundreds of beer miles all over North America. So far, the "official" record for the beer mile stands at 5:09, which if you think about it, is truly insane...even for a competitive runner. I know I couldn't run a 5:09 mile with 4 beers in my belly....or even drink 4 beers in 5:09.

Now I have never done one of these before, but that will likely change this Saturday night. A group of my friends (very good runners themselves) have organized a Beer Mile as a sendoff to one of our own who is leaving town this summer. Now I have no idea how well I can do in this thing, but I hope to make myself proud. My personal goal is to run somewhere near 7:00 but I really don't know if that will be possible. Of course, that will require me to drink 4 beers in 7 minutes, which I know will be a tough task in itself. I already have my Bud's cooling in the fridge. But I plan to give a full report of this epic happening next week. For now, I will look on the official website and figure out where I think I will rank among these legends of binge drinking and endurance sports.

101 Hours of Infamy

I feel lucky to have attended a small college. My college was a place where, if you did something extraordinary, people heard about it. And in the fall of my sophomore year in college, I did something extraordinary, and literally for about a year afterward random people came up to me and asked about this feat. A couple of times these were people I had never met before.

That year I lived in a suite setting, which included 6 guys living in 3 bedrooms with a living room and 1 bathroom. For the most part we all got along and hung out together quite a bit. However, I felt my two closest friends in that setting were Nick and Doug, who shared a room, but the three of us did quite a bit together.

In October of 2001, Doug, for some unknown reason, decided that it would be a good idea to try to stay awake for a week straight. Now Doug was the type to not think too much about things and just go straight ahead with his ideas. And while I applauded his resolve, I decided to do some research. So I went online and found stories of people staying awake for long periods of time. What I found basically told me that a person could stay up for about 8-10 days without sleep but somewhere in that range, it could become very detrimental to your health. I also read that going much more than that could lead to death, though that may have just been theory.

Well, Doug was not worried and he went on for almost 3 days without sleeping. He actually made it to 67 hours before he threw in the towel. Of course, immediately upon his waking, we gave him serious trouble for giving in. Instead of just giving up on the idea, we decided to settle for a more reasonable goal, 100 hours. I don't know how I got dragged into this madness other than the fact that I have always liked to have stories to tell. So instead of just Doug trying this, I ended up joining in the quest.

Now, some background on how the quest started. I ran cross country for my college. We had a coach who didn't allow any kind of alcohol consumption during the season. So of course, after the last meet of the season, we all went out and got slammed. Well, this is just what I did that night after our last meet. So I got bad, alcohol-induced sleep and woke up at 12:30 Sunday afternoon. By 1:00, we had decided this was our opportunity, and made it a goal not to sleep until Thursday evening.

So our quest began, with Doug and I spending our time playing Nintendo and watching movies as we stayed awake the first night. Of course, this night was very easy because I was accustomed to staying up until roughly 4:30 am most nights. Unfortunately, Doug had a weak moment and decided to call it quits after only 19 hours, leaving me completely alone. But I'm too stubborn to quit something once I've started so on I went.

The second day was interesting because I had classes to attend, which I knew would get more and more difficult as the week went on. However, nothing of consequence happened in the first 30 or so hours of this quest. The second night was when things began to get interesting.

The nights were the hardest because the body is accustomed to sleeping at some point after dark. Doug decided that the least he could do was stay up nights with me, so he made it a point to keep me occupied. That second night was interesting, as it saw a a couple of themes appear that would define the week. The first was Mountain Dew. While not normally a fan, I knew it would be a key ingredient in the success of this mission. So that first night at roughly 4:00 am, I threw a 20 oz. Mountain Dew into a beer bong and downed it in about 6 seconds. Soon after, I had to pee.

We also went on walks in the cold weather. It was a cool early November in Louisville, with the overnight lows dipping into the 30's, making it perfect weather for a rejuvenating walk. It also helped me to discover showering as a key tool to staying awake. I began to shower about 6 times/day, literally, as I knew I would never fall asleep while in the shower.

One thing that was awesome about this whole experience was the fact that I ate a good breakfast every morning, because at 7:30 when our food service on campus opened, I had nothing better to do but eat. So each morning, for the first time all year, I had a well-rounded breakfast before classes started.

Tuesday was the turning point in this whole experience. This was the first day I began to hallucinate. Now many people don't believe me when I describe this, but I swear it happened. The first time I noticed anything out of the ordinary was sitting in my Tuesday morning class with one of my suite-mates who knew exactly what was going on. I kept looking at the ceiling, and when he asked what I was looking at, I pointed at all the spider webs on the ceiling. He just looked at me and said, "Come with me after class." After class he led me over to our campus coffee-shop and bought me a shot of espresso, which got me through the rest of my classes.

Other hallucinations included seeing bugs crawling all over every carpeted floor I stared at for about 3 seconds, and seeing an X-Men poster start moving. Most notably, Wolverine looked me straight in the eyes and shrugged at me. To this day, I don't know what he was shrugging about.

The third night was by far the hardest, because Doug, that pansy, decided to sleep the entire night. Fortunately, my friend Stu had a project to work on all night, and my cousin back in St. Louis had learned of my mission and was sending me random emails all the time. Of course, it didn't make passing time any easier. So me, genius that I was, decided to try doing homework. To this day, I wish I had saved the essay I tried to write, because it made absolutely no sense. All I remember is it was a History essay, and I remember writing something about a boy playing his clarinet in the sand. I had an entire paragraph written before I realized I was writing nonsense. Unfortunately my mind was so shot by then that I didn't save it...what a shame, as it was probably some of the most interesting writing I've ever done.

Wednesday was actually fairly uneventful, other than the fact that I found myself incapable of watching TV, as I was in danger of dozing off at any given moment. I think I finally decided to skip a class this day, because I could not focus on anything. More hallucinations and showers were the story of the day, but my friends were fully behind, especially when I surpassed Doug's 67 hour mark.

The final night consisted of lots of Mountain Dew and NES, because I was doing everything I could to keep my mind occupied at this point, and having to focus on a NES game was about all I could do. Fortunately, Nick, Doug, and I were engulfed in a mission to win the Super Bowl in Tecmo Super bowl with every team in the game, playing full seasons, so we were playing NES with a purpose.

Thursday morning dawned full of promise as the day I would finally achieve this fantastic feat. However, I still had to make it until 4:30 that afternoon, so I was by no means out of the woods. One of my favorite parts of this entire story came at 9:30 that morning, when I had a scheduled presentation to give in my class. This is the same class that, on Tuesday, I had been pointing out spider webs in the ceilings. By some serious miracle and help from the rest of my group, I made it through this presentation. Of course, about 80% of the class realized I was SEVERELY sleep-deprived so they were waiting for me to pass out, but I made it.

Amazingly, I completely missed 4:30 that afternoon. I was quietly eating dinner with a friend of mine when I looked at the clock, turned to her, and just shrugged and said, "I just passed 100 hours." When the meal was over, all I wanted to do was go to bed, but by the time I got back to the dorms it was 5:00 and I saw no reason NOT to stay up until 5:30 and make it 101 hours. So I did just that, and finally at 5:30 p.m. on Thursday, November 8, 2001 I went to sleep.

I slept for roughly 19 hours straight after that, waking up once to use the restroom, at about the 12 hour mark. But I woke up just after noon on Friday, obviously having skipped my morning classes, but feeling like I had accomplished something seriously unique. And actually, I'm as proud of that 19 hours as I am about the 101, because it makes the story that much better that I slept for almost a full day afterward. How many people can say that. So the final tally: 4 days, 5 hours stayed awake, 4 breakfasts eaten, roughly 22 showers taken, 19 hours of sleep afterward. And a lifetime of memories.

Everyone Can Be A Gourmet Chef

I am personally a big fan of cooking. I take pride in the fact that I actually know how to cook. While I don't think of myself as unique, being a guy that can cook, I do find it amusing that a great number of my friends (both guys and girls) don't know how to cook. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but I think cooking should be an essential skill for a guy to know. It allows you to have a wide variety of what you can eat, and the ladies love it.

But today's post isn't about "real" cooking. This post is more geared towards those guys and girls who say they can't cook. It has been my pleasure throughout the years to find a number of great kitchen appliances that make cooking easy, and don't leave you with soggy, over heated meals that you would get out of a microwave (though it is a great invention in itself, especially for leftover mac and cheese). But here's a listing of my three favorite "cooking made easy" tools.

The Krups sandwich maker: This is kind of a blast from the past. I remember making sandwiches on this thing with my brother when we were kids. And we had some serious recipes, most notably a pizza recipe that included two pieces of bread, pizza sauce, American cheese, and pepperoni or ham. Looking back, that doesn't sound too appetizing but I remember several nights sneaking our Krups sandwich maker into the basement at 1 AM and making late night sandwiches. And I still have one in my apartment today. Who knew that I would still be using it, but I am. I am a huge fan of making turkey melts, tuna melts, and any other kind of melt I can think of. And the fact that the 'maker cuts the sandwiches diagonally and makes them look picture-perfect only adds to the mystique.

The GT XPress 101: Now, I don't know who Cathy Mitchell is except that she's the spokesperson for this outstanding kitchen necessity. And she sure as hell sold me on the product with her 30 minute infomercial. I literally JUST acquired one of these this afternoon at a yard sale thanks to a good friend of mine, but I can't wait until I bust it for the first time this evening. The concept is fairly unique. It has two pits to put your food in, and it cooks from both sides when you close it. They great thing about this is you can put just about anything in it and it just cooks right up. It's basically a way to throw as much crap into a machine as you want and hope something good comes out. But according to the infomercial, you can put anything from chicken and steak, to rice, soup, or even cakes and cinnamon rolls. The possibilities are endless. And with its non-stick surface and uniquely shaped spatula, it makes serving and cleanup easy as pie...which you could also probably make in this piece of geniusness. Now, I can't write extensively on this until I try it out, but all I can say is I don't expect to be disappointed when I make up some chicken, rice and all the fixin's tonight.

The George Foreman Grill. What can I say about, "The Lean, Mean, Fat-reducing Grilling Machine?" This is really THE standard for kitchen appliances that can make you an entire meal. It is the innovator of the slanted grill, so the fat rolls off as you cook it into the grease tray that comes with it. It can cook your meat from both sides, so you don't have to flip it, and this also "seals in flavor" according to George himself. And George Foreman didn't just quit with different sizes of his original grill. He expanded his horizons, to "The Next Grilleration," and beyond. Now, you can get more than just a grill. You can get an indoor/outdoor grill, a blender, a broiler, a griddle, and many more items. Now, normally I get annoyed when celebrities shamelessly plug their products, but George Foreman is an exception. I'll be a fan of anything he endorses. He says himself he's made more money for his grills than for his boxing, and also claims he is better known for the grills than he is for his boxing accomplishments. And how can you dislike a guy who names all five of his sons George?

The original grill is also awesome for its size. Just knowing that I can throw some ground beef, hamburger buns, and my Foreman Grill in a bag and grill out in my office at work if I wanted, or anywhere else. Before the birth of the George Foreman grill, how would you be able to grill hamburgers in a dorm room? You couldn't!! But thanks to George Foreman, I was able to have summer cookouts in the confines of the dorms. This led to one of my favorite stories from college. It was the dead of winter and my roommate Doug and I were bored in the middle of the night. So we decided that we wanted it to be summer. We put on shorts and sandals and popped open some beers. We grilled hamburgers on the Foreman grills, and as a final touch, we turned on RBI Baseball for the NES and had it simulate a game, so we ended up sitting in our dorm room at 2 AM, watching NES baseball while drinking beer and eating grilled burgers in our summer clothes. How much closer to summer can you get?

Things That Make Me Lose Sleep

Monday night I was up watching TV while procrastinating in writing a paper (actually as I write this I am procrastinating the same paper, but now with an urgent deadline). Anyway, my plan was to really start working hard on this paper at about 11:00 and staying up until about 2 AM working. I was entirely prepared to do this until I flipped on CBS at about 10:45 and saw the hockey game. Now I know if you are from Louisville, you may not even know what the NHL is, or what the Stanley Cup is, but the NHL is still one of the four major sports leagues in North America.

Anyway, the Stanley Cup Final this year is probably the best matchup you could ask for, Detroit and Pittsburgh. I turned the game on and it was 2-1 Pittsburgh early in the 3rd period. Detroit was up 3-1 in the series and could clinch the Cup at home with a win. Well, I decided to watch because I hate the Redwings and wanted to see them lose at home. Instead, they scored a tying goal shortly after I turned it on, and a go-ahead goal at about the midway point in the period. For some reason, I chose to keep watching. Probably because I think that the awarding of the Stanley Cup is the best Championship celebration in all of sports. And the Stanley Cup itself is the best trophy in sports. If you don't believe me, just watch it. So I was prepared to watch (grudgingly) as Detroit was awarded the Cup at home. Instead, to my distinct pleasure, Pittsburgh scored a tying goal with 37 seconds remaining in the period, and the game went into overtime.

Now, I know hockey has lost a lot of popularity in the past few years, and regular season hockey is sometimes hard to watch, but in my opinion there is NOTHING better in sports than Playoff hockey overtime. Sudden death, 20 minute periods, and NO COMMERCIALS. There is literally no down time for 20 minutes of playing time. Playoff overtime is one time when I can watch any two teams play, no matter what. If you have never watched a playoff overtime game, then try to find some kind of replay of one, or just keep an eye out next year (or even in Game 6, which is tonight). This is the only sport besides soccer where the game can end at any moment, and I personally think this is more intense than soccer since the puck moves up and down the ice so quickly. I was on the edge of my seat for over an hour just watching the overtime. I guess it helped that I was pulling for one team. But this game was no disappointment at all. In the end, it was the 5th longest game in Stanley Cup Finals history, going to the halfway point of the 3rd Overtime before Petf Sykora scored on a power play to extend the series to at least 6 games.

So now that I've ranted about that, it got me thinking about the other things I've done that have cost me a lot of sleep in the past. And it turns out the list is fairly extensive.

- Procrastinating doing homework: This takes the top honor, as I can't recall how many times I've stayed up literally all night just to complete a paper on time. I have some sort of mental block that doesn't allow me to begin writing until the last minute. I can do research, but the writing is an entirely different story.

- 24 hour NES marathon: Actually it was a 21 1/2 hour NES marathon where we literally played NES nonstop for almost a full day. I fully intend to blog about this in the future, so I won't go into much more detail.

- Playing NES in general: Did I mention I'm addicted to this system. I can get so into a game that I'll play it for 3 hours before I realize it's 2 AM and I have to get up for work at 7:30. This has been an issue since high school, and still sometimes happens even today.

- Not sleeping: Of course not sleeping, that's the point of this list. But by not sleeping, I mean INTENTIONALLY not sleeping. I once chose to stay up for over 4 days without sleeping. This story, again, deserves a posting of its own. But I will say that this was the only time in my life I've ever hallucinated.

- Watching crappy movies on AMC: Sometimes I'll be up watching TV and just before I plan to go to bed, a movie that I like is just starting. So I can either go to bed or stay up and watch the movie. Too often, I choose the movie. One night I was up watching Jaws, and when it ended at 1 AM I prepared to go to bed, until I saw Jaws 2 was on right after that. I'd never seen the sequel, so I obviously had to stay up. And when that was over, what came on? Jaws: The Revenge. I can't believe I stayed up for this absurd movie, but in the end I was up until about 5:30 AM having an impromptu Jaws marathon.

- Driving to St. Louis and back in one evening to watch Wrestlemania. Back in 2001, my friend and I ventured to St. Louis, leaving at around 2:30 pm here in Louisville and arriving in St. Louis around 5:30 local time, just in time to watch Wrestlemania 17 with a group of friends. And when it ended at 11:00 in St. Louis, my friend and I got up and drove straight back, arriving at 4:30 AM, in time for me to make my 8 AM class in the morning. The tally: 8 hours of driving, 600 miles, 4 hours of Wrestlemania, 14 hours from the time I left to the time I arrived back, one class in the morning skipped.

Now I'm sure there are several more instances just like these, because in the years 2001-2002, I remember telling people I averaged roughly 4-5 hours of sleep per night for the course of the year, so I must have been doing something right. But hopefully this entry will get you thinking about some of the idiotic things you used to do that had an adverse effect on your health. Happy memories!!